Mona lala: Hawaiian for "that would never actually happen in real life"
Welcome to Bayside, a world where red ribbons are given out for third place, people can hang out completely unnoticed in filing cabinets, "live" grenades are set off in homes and public restaurants, and the entire U.S. Army is controlled by A.C. Slater.

Bring it on!
And by "it," I mean ankle-length cheerleading skirts. Does anyone else think Jessie might be trying to hide something by insisting that the squad wear these ridiculously long skirts?

Three men, a cheerleader, a princess, a transexual & a little baby
Kelly breaks her arm while levitating during a yearbook picture, so the gang (i.e. Zack, as the others seem to be totally incompetent when it comes to child care) has to watch her baby brother. Also, we get a lesson in how to speak English with a French accent, courtesy of Mrs. Egg.

Read my lips: Jessie's a man
Zack and Jessie go head-to-head in the race for student-body president for the chance to preside over the gang and 12 or so random extras. May the best man win!

Clear skin! Beat Valley!
Even with the combination of a maroon face, a hideous orange dress and cowboy boots, Kelly manages to kick Muffin Sangria's ass in the race for homecoming queen. Poor Muffin. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.